A twist of doubts

I believe that change is a must to take place within me one day. It’s not that I keep speaking about it means that it’ll occur by words. Actions need to be carry out, then hope for it to hit me strongly. But I believe it’s going to surely come to existence. I’m positive. 

With Allah will, of course, I will make it come out of nowhere. That’s what Allah is capable of. He gives every true believer what he supplicates for; it’s the power of supplication. Speaking of which, supplication is the spirit that leads to achieve inner peace and wellbeing. 

I’m concerned with that change matter, because I know the truth. Ramadan taraweh and Quran reading has me dawned on it more deeply than before. It’s like lighting up a darkned room for someone downstairs wants to descend but it’s obscure. The light of true peaceful path. 

The remaining questions are : Am I doing it right ? Am I yearning for it really ? Am I paitent enough to keep stepping up wherever it might drive me to ? You know, there’s always a question to be answered. Questions are throwing at those who are seeking a goal, but the how-to-respond-to that makes them unbearable which they turn into unfair doubts. Here, it starts the challenge and test and the hard work. 

Will I surpass ?

The person I feel I’m today is not the person I was yesterday. A must be something changed in me, or something emerged from my body which I don’t know its Whs. But I’m certain there’s something new in me today.

The thing why I’m writing is that there’s that person whose writings get me alarmed to competition; as if I’m under influence of him trying to force me create a best writing than him. Even if we don’t know each other neither live the same life, but I do feel like he’s talking to me by his creative mood, making me want to surpass him. That kind of far to be equal match is believingly taken to the point I’ve been trying to write all genre of literature. It’s a feeling of unfelt challenge, i.e; only me who’s feeling it.

Perhaps If I take it as a challenge, I will be learning for the upcoming days which mean I will improve myself thickly and quickly for sure. Challenging oneself is all about.

I’m thankful yet there are people whose lifestyles and intetests are teacheable and that one can put them as competitor to success.

Am I or what ?

IMG_1143I think I’m a creative person. This belief comes from nowhere especial to point out my fingers on, it is belief I forced myself to believe it. Yes, I do believe I’m different but I couldn’t manage figure it out. You may say I’m foolishly unbelieveable. Still, I think I’m creative, and time is the only nightmare I have fears of being enclosed by. You may say I don’t have anything productive in my writting, but I’m the contrary as many things I’ve achieved as a remarkable player among my ages at primary and high school. I used to be a great player, and everyone of my neighbors witnessd my truth. I would go back in time, bringing back my movement when I used to score plenty of goals passing the whole team and then smartly put the ball in the net. Yes, my talent used to be football. It was the only thing I have felt being confidently engaged ever at doing. It doesn’t mean I was stupid as some people assume that’s all about running after the ball so that I catch it and then kick it into the net, or whatever. It never was, is, and will never be. Footballers are so intelligent as do I. Put it simply, I used to dream of being an international player, which great teams go after. Yes, that is the only dream I was passionate about. My passion. My ambition. Me. It has vanished so things get sophisticated. I went through a period of feeling feeble and ruined from inside. Home was my shelter. My hidout where I buried my confidence, and developed my worries.Insecurities. I decided to be outty, surrounded with rigid walls. I bacame stagnant.
Nevertheless, they say things can fix if the person wants so. Determination to be what you used to be, and even much better, emotionally and logically strong. That’s why I’ve chosen writting to be what I really and always am, and that’s nobody can defeat. I’m naturally creative, It needs to find me working. I know It takes time to recover. With patience and new dreams, everything is going to grow skinny thick. Hopefully, positivity welcomes my mood to blossom.

The Why is all we dream…

To help you figure out the Why our teachers want us to answer, we have to open up to things happening around us firstly. Secondly, being a good listener is also of beneficial skills adding to our abilities. Basically, the Why is a question to single out of community opinion impact. They look for teaching us to be open about what’s going on as also as to respond to it with the right action. They guide our choices and make sure we don’t get hurt if somehow happen to confuse between school and outside school. They know they have been students; they have been taught the same we are learning from them for the time being. The Why is just the dream we want to reach out answering it.  So there’s no need to fear asking why; it’s your dream. Feel free to ask it. Live it up then.

Who cares, anyway !

Earlier, I would force myself memorize everything but not now; which I find it so boring using that traditional method of preparation. In fact, I used to be charging my mind with courses whatever they were, even I knew it’s not a proper way. Because I would forget them the moment I’ve emptied them on the paper exam. I only wanted to get a good mark, no matter whether I fully understand or not even close. I didn’t care to the questions what next ? what about future ?

Yes I didn’t take into consideration that the next level is based on all the knowledge I’ve been delievered in the primary school. Conversly, I’m paying past’s mistakes righ now. I’m becoming vulnerable to anything happening. I feel like I’ve been built without basic bricks and cement. Any small windy storm breaks me.

In order to get out of my situation, I’ve decided to rebuild up. I start brushing up on each rule of my mother tongue Arabic and English second language, information and historical events of my country, religion. My Roots.

It’s a tough time redoing my supposed to be done stuff, but who cares anyway. I’ve got to Repuild up my trust keeping away the devil out of reach.

Because I know now.

How is important to have self-love ?

Some people think that love is a need for everyone’s life, and myself think highly of it. Because of a reason that I will present in a brief story about lacking of hearing the three words « I love you.  »
So if you are interested in, read it.

Here we go :  » A woman « X » who does not love herself anymore because of one thing, that she has a thought which is  » It’s not fair ! »
Every woman has a man by side, who has feelings into. But when it comes to her «  it’s not fair, » nobody tells her the three words : I love you !
And so not to prejudge what is happenning around thinking positive  » Maybe it’s not time !  » As she tries her best to know why, asking a big why in front of her :
Am I unattractive to love ? However, the first thing has come to her mind as trying to figure out for what reason she is disliked by men, even a freakish poor man hasn’t been into her. « Really, life isn’t nice nor fair to me, why have I done to deserve so ?  »
And also not to loose hope, she has gone for answering her whys. But seems she has a bad luck; no answers show up. Many attempts but no result.
Time passes… until a day, a discussing talk is on Tv under the name  » Love Yourself Or Fail Your whole life. »
This meaningful title has fixed in her mind as she comes to an end of her whys,  » Say I need to love me, myself from the beginning. »
What I am currently hearing the three words  » I love myself, » and the big surprise ever that she has now children.

How fair life it is now !